RIP Mom - Family memories

Ruth Shields and Mark Liston, circa 2015

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My mother-in-law, Ruth Shields, died yesterday afternoon. 89 years old. She was a fabulous mom to me! To say she was a character is an understatement. As she was being admitted to the hospital for a new bovine heart valve she told the admitting nurse, when asked if she had any surgeries, that she had a hysterectomy - "the doctor took out the crib but left the playpen." Those words were from an 80 year-old woman with a great spirit and this infectious sense of humor.

She beat cervical cancer. Then brain cancer. It was a different cancer that wore her out this time. Taking chemo and getting radiation at her age was just too tough on her.

Dad was career Navy (27 years) who met this pretty nurse and courted her for just a few weeks before they got married. That was over 67 years ago. They had a son then five girls. My wife, Mary Kay, is the oldest of the girls and just a year younger than her brother. Mom said, "It wasn't the fond farewells that caused those kids, it was the damned welcome homes!"

Mom delivered babies and if we believe her stories on how many babies she delivered it is somewhere close to the population of California. Being the Commander's wife she was the best when it came to throwing parties and entertaining the young men who were away from home. The Shield's home was the party place and there were always six kids running around to keep things lively. Mary Kay remembers when they were stationed in Japan having the troops come up to the house. It was like home for those guys.

Dragging the six kids to church every Sunday was a chore, but mom had a rule that if you make it to church by the Gospel reading - you are on time.

Mom was innovative. She bought a Heath-Kit and built an organ! Another time she bought another kit and built a color TV. After retirement she made quilts, sweaters and anything she could knit for all the kids. Amazing woman.

As I write this I'm about to jump on a plane for the funeral Friday. It will be good to be with dad, who will be 91 in a couple weeks, and all MK's sibs and spouses. There is so much love in that family . . . . plus all of the other stuff we all have in our families. That's what makes a family a family.

All the kids posted the same message on Facebook last night. So far I've received 89 messages from family and friends. The interesting part is that 19 of these messages are from people I went to high school. In three more years we'll have our 50th Reunion. I'm shocked and ecstatic that there are so many of us who remain close - regardless of where we live. It proves that family doesn't need to be just blood.

As I was waiting for Mary Kay to give me the morning update on how she made it through the night I got a call from my best friend, Greg. His mom had passed away just hours before. His mom was 17 days from 100 - her goal to reach. Both mom's funerals will be within minutes of each other. We both talked about the lessons we learned from these women. Only 14 years for me. 62 for Greg.

Life is about lessons. How will you be remembered? There will be many tears on Friday, but even more stories. Stories of love. Stories of family. Stories of friends.

Thanks, mom, for loving me like a son. Thanks for being an amazing woman who lived more than nine lives because she had to live life to the fullest. That was mom. I love you.