Tough couple of weeks. Experiencing death with a close friend and seeing another in the hospital gasping for breath. I’ll call them John and Bob – though that isn’t their real names.
John is in the hospital gasping for breath. He is 69 years old and on oxygen 24/7 – all because of choices. When he was in his teens, he decided to do something that was considered “cool” in those days. He started smoking. We saw him twice this week. He is in the hospital because of decisions he made in life.
A few years ago, we noticed that he was really having a tough time walking from one end of the kitchen to the other. Soon thereafter his doctor put him on oxygen every second of every day. He was always thin, but his weight dropped below what most boys weigh in sixth grade – even though he was six feet tall.
John gasps for life in every breath. He explained to us this week that the oxygen doesn’t help him breathe. Instead, it keeps the organs in his body alive.
John isn’t angry. He doesn’t blame anyone but himself. Fifty-two years smoking. It is difficult for him to eat because when he eats, he can’t breathe. So, he doesn’t eat much and has poor nutrition which explains his weight.
Bob is a completely different story.
I went to high school with him and hung out with him every day. Along his way in life, he went to work for one of the best employers in Rockford, Il – where we grew up. My ex-mother-in-law worked for the same company.
One of his jobs was cleaning out large vats where hardware was manufactured. At one point they had 70% of the national market share for retail kitchen products -= focusing on cabinet hardware.
The cleaning agents used to clean out those vats were known toxins that cause liver damage.
Bob died a couple of weeks ago. It had nothing to do with the decisions he made in life.
Bob wasn’t a drinker – yet he developed cirrhosis. He told me that this would shorten his life. He already had liver stents inserted to help blockages in the bile duct that helps with digestion. He thought, at one point, that his stent might need to be replaced. That would help with the issues that bothered him.
His doctor asked if he would like to be put on the liver transplant wait list. Bob told his doctor that as he approached seventy, he would prefer that someone younger be given a liver instead of him. I’ve known him since junior high school. No surprise.
Hospice was brought in as he was placed in palliative care. We live five hundred miles apart, but my goal was to see him on October 17th. I couldn’t wait to say goodbye to my great friend who was so instrumental in my teen years.
On Wednesday morning, October 16th at 8:02 a.m. I received a text from Bob’s wife telling me that he passed earlier that morning.
Two close friends. One alive, even though he made terrible decisions. One gone, even that he made good decisions.
We can’t predict when it is our time to go home to our maker. I know that Bob is having dinner with Jesus every day – while John is struggling to eat and breathe.
Yes, they are sad stories. They do remind us of a lesson though. It starts with MK’s favorite word – choices. Every day we make choices in life. When we make poor choices, they usually end up causing us pain.
MK and I choose to have devotions each morning. Of course we pray for John. Now we pray for Bob’s widow. I was blessed in my life to have both John and Bob as close friends.
Our book, “Diagnosed – Inspirational Stories After an Alarming Medical Diagnosis” is full of stories of people who were blessed even when their medical diagnosis portended a disastrous ending. Many of those featured in our book can call what happened to them to be miraculous. I was one of those people.
God bless us all.
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