How do you honor someone who made such a great impression on your life? Someone who reminds you of your son? In fact, Mary Kay pointed this out many years ago and this, more than anything else, helped draw this father and son closer than I could ever imagined.
I loved Nard’s humor. I loved the relationship he had with his wife. I loved the relationship he had with kids. I loved the relationship he had with his sisters. I loved his beard!
Mary Kay’s brother, Nard, died on April Fool’s Day 2021. He was only 67 – just a year and ten days older than MK. He had ALS – more commonly called Lou Gehrig’s disease. You, like me, might have seen Pride of the Yankees, made in 1942, featuring Gary Cooper as Lou Gehrig. If you are a baseball fan you’ve heard his speech after he was diagnosed with ALS, “I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.”
Maybe you, like me, did the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge several years ago. We did. Gave a meager contribution of $100 without ever thinking this dreaded disease would hit our family.
Nard’s humor was best illustrated to me on the day of our wedding, June 23, 2007. A niece and a nephew took Polaroid pix of the guests, put them in a wedding book, and asked everyone to write a message. His was classic – “Here for the dentist convention. Saw free drinks so we had some. Seems like nice people here.”
That’s the brother I loved.
Pat, his outstanding wife, was with him 48 years had never seen without a beard. I doubt that Sarah, our daughter-in-law has ever seen my son, Andy, without some sort of a beard. Both men had two sons. Both physically looked like early hippies. Nard was. Andy just looks identical to one of the guys on Duck Dynasty. Nard’s wit and Andy’s wit are so similar – even though both of Nard’s sons are older than Andy.
My daughter, Jae, absolutely loves her brother, Andy. Mary Kay and her four sisters absolutely loved their big brother, Nard. Both earn that love from their sibs because of how they are.
Go to a party and Nard was teaching nephew and nieces to make “Monkey Faces”. When Andy is at a party he is usually playing football or baseball with the kids. One of my favorite memories was him trying to teach my 3-year-old grandson, his nephew, how to hit a golf ball.
As ALS slowly took away Nard’s speech, his muscles and his ability to breath as he entered the hospital with pneumonia, we knew his time was limited. We just didn’t realize how limited. The doctors put him on palliative care and believed that he would pass on the 31st of March. He woke up hours before midnight and asked Pat, “How long do I have?” Pat gave an answer worthy of a movie line, “As long as you want.” Brilliant. A few hours later he passed – just an hour after midnight and on April 1st.
I’m sure every time I give Andy and hug and a kiss I’ll also think of Nard. I’d guess that when MK sees Andy she will be reminded of her brother.
