Grandson Basketball Game & Death of a Friend's Dad

It happened last Saturday.

Mary Kay and I decided to drive to Cleveland to visit one of my best friends. His dad passed away just days before. He was 91. My best memory of Chris's dad and mom was when he and I were just 26. Tomorrow Chris turns 66.

We went to his parents' house so I could meet them. We walked in the front door and there was his mom and dad taking a nap on the couch. Dad was snuggled behind mom with his arm around her fast asleep. I had never seen my parents do this and the memory stuck with me these 40 years. It was a sign of love between a man and a woman, a husband and a wife who had already been together over 25 years. They almost made 68 years of marriage. Chris knew the love they had was still as strong as ever - regardless of how many years had gone by.

We spent hours together on Saturday as Chris regaled us with stories he had learned about his father. Wonderful stories about him as a prankster. Now I know where Chris got it from. Chris was holding his arms when dad went to see his Heavenly Father. I wish we could have made it to the funeral.

Just hours earlier MK and I watched our two grandsons, 8 & 6, play in their last basketball game of the season. Still play on a 7' rim. They can dribble once. Run for 17 steps. Dribble again. Sometimes they even pass it to someone who catches it. Their team won 22 - 12. The 8 year old can really play. He had 12. The 6 year old scored the second basket of the game. That was his 2 points.

My favorite event happened right after the game. The 6-year old ran up to my daughter-in-law and asked her if they won. She confirmed they did and gave him the score. With that I saw this broad smile come across his face as he jumped up and down throwing his arms in the air. He played for the joy of playing. If they won that was nice. But, not nicer than actually playing.

I learned two lessons that day that will always stick with me just like watching Chris's parents take a nap together on the couch. First, we need to do things in life for the joy of doing them. We forget to do that, don't we? It is all about winning. Being number 1. Sports, work, everything. Even arguing with our spouse - regardless of the outcome - in my younger days I just wanted to win the argument. Stupid.

I never asked Chris how his parents did financially. We didn't talk about any inheritance. We talked about memories. The love his parents had. How coworkers remembered his dad at work. The pranks. The joy of working with the same guys for over 30 years.

What a lesson that is. We need to be reminded life is about how we are remembered, not how large our bank account. We leave memories in everything we do. What are those memories like for you? For your kids? For your friends?

Saturday was an amazing day.

Chris, happy birthday tomorrow. Glad we've been friends for over 40 years. Glad your dad left you so many memories. Glad he left me one, too, that I'll never forget.